Tips To Being The Perfect Hostess

1. Guest list should include classy, beautiful, people who listen to everything you say.

2. Send out invitations up to 3.5 weeks in advance.

3. Keep the party small and give admonishing glances to those who didn't RSVP in due time.

4. Pick out your outfit 1 week before -not last minute choice, but also not last season.

5. Prearrange a playlist, caterer, and cleaning service.

6. If, by mistake, classless, insolent, impudent people with abominable taste in music were invited and brought along their iPods to plug into your 7,000 dollar sound system, discreetly hide the offending pieces and quietly remind them that you are the hostess and that if they wish to host a twinkie fry at their residence while drunken and commando, then thats up to them.