Thursday, August 30, 2012

Binnngeee and Purge!

Nobody likes a tease, whether its flirting with a frat guy all night to find out he has whiskey dick when it comes time to preform or clicking and clicking again only to find out that that free iPad you were promised was a scam. What hates the tease most of all is your body. Bulimia is not a disease or a disorder, it is simply what the most naive of teen girls think to be a quick fix.

Just as the "Benddd and snap!" technique gained popularity among the minorities in that Cambridge beauty salon, bulimia is growing almost as fast the waistline of its patrons. Don't do it people, its very un-BRUNCH and un-classy. Voming is for frosh, middle american roadtrippers, and expectant mothers (its a girl!).

Now we'd like to take a minute, just sit right there. We'll tell you about how you'll be known as that bitch with no hair...and green, eroded teeth; being more bloated than Luke Wilson in that AT&T commercial; and having skin that makes Tara Reid look tighter than a 10 year old asian boy. And what webMD won't tell you... you actually gain a lot of weight and lose a lot of energy. We mean if you're gonna pick an ED, pick something more posh like what Emily Blunt did in the Devil Wears Prada...kidding!


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