Christmas Dinner

So, I've just slippped out of christmas dinner. Here are the highs so far:

We were discussing my shakey, 85 year old great uncle (grandfather's brother).
me "Is Sue Bob's second wife?"
grandma "fifth." she replies shaking her head shamefully.
me"Oh. So does he have many kids?"
grandma "No, thank goodness,"
me "Why do you say that."
grandma " I think he'd be a terrible father."
father "Wasn't Uncle Bob in the military?"
grandma "Yes. Thats part of the reason, hes got that military tough guy thing."
father "He's not so tough now!"

drink.Somebody bumped into the table, spilling the wine, so i took the liberty of drinking it down, it was purely precautionary of events that may happen caushing it to spill again. When grandmother asked why wine was everywhere I pointed to grandfather, who at the time was sans hearing aid, and called him a sloppy drunk