Get out the way, pretty boy coming through!
GOSSIP GIRL starts in 5 short days! Nate is so freaking gorgeous. He's nothing we normally look for in a male lover. He's pretty, gentle, kind, and has soft skin, the things we look for when we sleep with women ( thanks again Weeds). He is like a picture, so gorgeous it fascinates you, but gets boring once you realize that that's all it is. Chuck Bass is the epitome of sexy, but also the exemplar fool. He knows that Blair loves him and always will but he isn't smart enough to not coitus Jenny Humphrey. Blair is cute, Jenny is scary looking (nothing like dainty little Cindy Lou Who). And Dan is a daddy at 19? That's so Brooklyn. Wow Danny, you went to feeling bad because you "might as well have" slept with Georgina to father of her bastard. We doubted you before but you got badass when you slept with a girl who you shared a brother with, and a set of parents with, too. And now you've really gone FTW and conceived a baby with a whore who probably passed herpes, chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, and a surfeit of addiction problems to the misbegotten kid. It looks like she's a little too far along to exercise her options (we don't have strong opinions about abortion, but we may have tossed a coat hanger or two at those tacky holy protestors. Don't they have something better to do, like burn the Quran?) We've made it our personal goal to live 5 more days until the premiere. Also, Jenny and Vanessa won't be in the first few episodes, life is good.
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