Thursday, September 13, 2012

Dieting: A Love Story

We, unlike Kelly Osbourne, know that an interest in fashion requires you to be entirely and beautifully skinny as fuck. Like you have to look good and have great posture and not think twice about eating foods with vowels (thanks BetchesLoveThis). As if theres more to life than shopping, clubbing, iced coffee, doing lines, gossip girl, and diet coke. Theres nothing more un BRUNCH than jiggly bits (tits excluded, ovbi) and cellulite. To be a BRUNCH girl you deff have to look unquestionable fucking hot. Guys like fatties about as much as they like reading. And we all know the fat friend is the one who ends up driving everyone and their guys home in someone else's lexus. If you want to share clothes with your fellow BRUNCH girls you ovbi have to FIT INTO THEM. Like sorry if we're not willing to let your cancels stretch out our Loubs. And okay like our moms married rich so we don't have to but that doesn't mean you have to live a sub-par life and marry some game programmer that loves you because you're rich and nobody else does. Like everybody hated Jessie on NYC Prep and even her gay BFF called her a "fat cunt." Just because your fam is like totally loaded doesn't mean you shouldn't strive for more. Wouldn't you rather have your own jet than be in that bullshit Netjet timeshare club!

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